Mold me each day, Lord, into what You would have me to be.

Mold me each day, Lord, into what You would have me to be.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Where's My Soap Box?...

I'm about to delve into more medical reports, but wanted to take a moment to post something that I feel is very important...

...give me just a second, I have to pull my soap box out to stand on...

James 3:2 "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check." NIV

I am not going to tell you where I was, or when I heard this, or who even said it. I am just going to give you the circumstance of what was said, and how it made me feel.

I was sitting down, and two people were behind me talking... The first person said "oh, there goes so-and-so"...The second person said "my, he/she has really put on weight, he/she used to be so slim"...


No, they weren't talking about me, but it hit me just as hard. Since I got married I have gained quite a bit of weight. So, when I go somewhere, especially a place where people have known me for years or even for most of my life, I'm a bit self-conscious. I'll admit it. I am concerned that they think "boy, has she put on the weight".

Am I alone? Do we all have these insecurities?

I dare say we do.

Then why, why, WHY???, do we say things that point out others' insecurities, others' weaknesses? Why?

What if this conversation took place in church? What if these two people were talking about someone that was my relative, and I overhead them? What if I came into church feeling a bit insecure, visiting for the first time, and I heard this conversation taking place behind me? How would I feel? Is that a church I would want to continue to attend?

People hear us that we don't always realize are listening. These two people obviously did not think they were talking loud enough for others to hear, but they were.

This really applies to every place we frequent, even in our homes - because our children are picking up on everything we say and do. If I talk about somebody, they hear it, they learn it, they MAY even repeat it... I saw a good sign outside a church this week that said (this is as close as I remember it), "if you only say nice things about people, you never need whisper."

The book of James has so much great teaching on taming the tongue, and I need to learn it as much as anybody. What happened in this story I told above really was an eye-opener for me, and I hope that I will learn not to make this same mistake...


Terri said...

AMEN!!!!! You are right on with this, April!!!!! The worst is when you don't want to be sucked into these type of conversations and then people get annoyed at you for not backbiting and gossiping. Thank you for sharing.

Michelle said...

AMEN here too April!
I agree with you and Terri. It makes me want to be more careful about what I say.
Thanks for sharing.

April said...

Thanks Terri and Michelle. Terri, you are absolutely right about people wanting you to join in with them when they are talking about this sort of thing. Unfortunately, I have been on the other end and have actually been the the gossiper or backbiter. I have learned that it is just wrong, completely wrong. Hearing those two people just helped me to not want to make the same mistake, and to think about how that person would feel if they were to hear what you were saying.

Anonymous said...

Amen, scoot over a little I could stand on that soapbox! Oh, wait, I think I need to sit in the congregation, sometimes.
Great post,April!

Jennifer H. said...

Thank you, April for sharing this. There has been so many times that have heard this and I have also been the one doing the talking. God is teaching me also to be more aware of what I say and how I say it as well as to I say it to. We all need to vent from time to time but there is a line and when you cross over that line, then repentance is in desparate need and mouths need to be shut and this hurts. Thank you again.

April said...

Miriam, I can move over for you, whether it is on the soapbox or in the pew! LOL! These words are aimed at me too definitely! It just helped me to learn a valuable lesson!

Jennifer, thanks for stopping by today! You are absolutely right, once the damage is done, it can be hard to reverse, so we definitely need to be careful of what we say.

Thank you ladies for your comments. I hope you have a blessed Tuesday!!!
April :0)

Dianne said...

April, This is a great post and a much needed one in this day and age. And this should be directed not just to the people who are worldly but to the church. What must God think when He hears us talking like that and I can include myself into those who need to learn to say positive things and not negative things!

Thanks for sharing this post and being so open about yourself.

April said...

Thanks Dianne for your comment. You're right, I think especially as the church, as Christians, we have a responsibility to watch everything we say and do because an incident like this is certainly enough to ruin our witness.

Beth Moore gave some really good advice on this that I heard in one of her video teachings. She said when we have a problem with something that has happened or with somebody (I can't quote this - it was a few years ago), that we should go immediately and tell it to God. In so doing, we have gotten it off our chest, we know what we said is safe with God, and best of all...God can deal with these situations better than we ever could by backbiting, gossiping, and spreading rumors. God can fix the situation with someone else, and maybe, just maybe, it's a case where we are the ones who need the fixing, a case where our attitude is the one that needs adjusting.

Thanks to all of you for your comments. I know this is a touchy subject and your input is greatly appreciated!

April :0)

Misty Akridge said...

hey great post! i recently visited family who i love, but definitely had some self help tips which was a huge boost to my self esteem. here is what i take heart in: God looks at my heart not the roll inevitably hanging over my jeans!lol
great tip on being careful about what you say