Hello.... here I am!!! Posting again finally!!! I actually got on here to post earlier, and when I opened up my blog I found that it had been hijacked AGAIN by Little Ms. Michelle. Soooooo, I immediately had to turn around and go hijack her blog (which was the first time for me!). So fun. But now, back to business, the business of writing my own blog!
I do have to say that I have been doing okay, Michelle said I had been doing so good and had given her a pair of my jeans that I had undergrown. But, in fact, I am up three pounds from what I had gotten down to. So, that is not so good. But I am still hanging in there and keeping on, but have to be honest with you in the fact that I have gone up a little.
I have felt like things have just been so out of control lately. My job is almost gone, but I had taken some extra work over a couple of weeks, and compiling that with all of the other stuff I have already going on, I have been feeling really overwhelmed. I have always been the type of person who will avoid dealing with something if it can be put off. The Queen of Procrastination, I suppose. Whether it was dealing with my weight, which has taken me years to finally begin really dealing with, or with my finances, or with things being organized, or just whatever - even putting off the dishes from supper to deal with the next day when I would have a fresh start the next day if I would just take the time to do them right away. Craziness this is to most people, but this is the way my life has been for a long time.
Well, a couple of weeks ago I lost my keys in a parking lot after church and thought I knew where they were, but it turned out they were not there. I returned to the town and to the parking lot where I assumed they had been lost, and no one had turned them in, and they were nowhere to be found. I was panicking pretty good over it, not because of my house keys or car keys (we live in a different town after all), but I was upset because the church keys were on the ring and it was just right down the road from where I lost my keys. Not only were the church keys on the ring, but the name of the church was on the keychain next to those keys. So, I thought somebody could just get into our church without really "breaking and entering" because I had not been responsible with my things. I know people lose their keys every day, but this is just such a common occurrence for me it is ridiculous. Michelle was very sympathetic and said she would help me look for them, even going to the next town with me, but she was very truthful with me (and it was a hard truth) as we drove over there. She told me that she thought that my chaotic way of life was coming to a head for me because God was trying to work some things out of me. She said that all she kept hearing when she had been praying was "Revelation and Transformation", and she thought that was key for me. She knew that I had the revelation of how I needed to change things, but was not allowing God to transform me. I received this, and was ready to move on. I told Michelle that my library card was on my keys and that maybe someone would turn them in to the library (in a different town), and the very next day I called the library to tell them that I had lost the keys with my card on them. I went to Wal-Mart to make duplicates of my keys, and while I was leaving with my new keys I received a call from the library letting me know that someone had indeed turned my keys in to them. I now know exactly which pocket of my purse my keys are to be in at all times, and when they are not in my purse they are clipped onto my person with a heart-shaped clip purchased at Fred's Dollar Store for about $1.00. So I allowed transformation in that area of my life, but there was more to come.
The next thing is more on a personal note and I will not give the details, but suffice it to say that Michelle was repeating many of the same words to me because the same situation was applying as in the previous couple of weeks. I was stuck in an old pattern of behavior/bad habit that had proven time and again to be destructive for me. This time she told me something, and she said she wanted me to hear it not from her, but to really receive it from God...she told me that if I did not get past this stuff and allow God to transform me, then I would not be able to get to the next level with him and would remain stagnant. So, once again, I am being transformed. It is not easy, but even though it can be difficult it is amazing to me how God has been giving me creative ideas and giving me strength to become what He is wanting me to be.
It was so funny that when I went to pray this morning as I was making the bed, I was struck with the thought of how I consistently talk to God and never give Him time to talk back. I know it is not God's will for my life to be full of chaos, and if I will listen He will show me exactly how to get my life where it needs to be for Him, and to get me on the right track to being what He would have me to be.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how badly you may want to put something off, no matter how badly you may not want to face something, that won't make it go away.
Not getting the scale out will not make you weigh less...
Not cleaning the closet out will not make it organize itself...
Not opening up that dreaded bill will not keep it from going to collections...
Not spending time with God will not get you close to Him...
So, rather than sweeping everything under the rug like you would usually do (or like I would usually do actually!), deal with the things that need to be dealt with. Ignoring things just causes you to get behind and overwhelmed, to be stressed and unproductive, and many times - just unpleasant to be around. Pray each day for God to show you how you can do your very best in all that you do, and how to deal with the things you face each day in the best way possible. He is faithful, just give it to Him.
That is what I'm having to do.
Thank you, Michelle and Misty, for all of your prayers and support, and for always telling me the truth even when it is hard for you to say and you know it will be hard for me to hear. You have all the marks of true friends.
3 hours ago