Changing Seasons

I love to go out in the yard in the afternoon and evening when the light from the descending sun is so beautiful and the shade from the surrounding trees is simply perfect. I like to face the field behind our house and watch the breeze rustle the leaves overhead; it's very relaxing. I find a great deal of inspiration in those times, and quiet times are wonderful for hearing from the Lord.

A couple of weeks ago as I was enjoying my usual view, it suddenly hit me that the entire field of wheat was now golden. I had just been walking past the field and telling my children how it reminded me of the ocean when the wheat would wave in the wind, so I knew it had been very green. It was as if overnight it went from completely green to completely gold. No slow fade, no gradual change, just abrupt and complete difference. I felt in that moment that the Lord was teaching me about how quickly things change in our lives. We don't know when it will be - what week, what day, not even what hour - that the seasons in our life will shift. It seems really simple and probably a very basic knowledge, but it was one of those light bulb moments of truth for me in my own life.

Take a tree, for instance... A tree does not choose when the seasons will change. It does not know from day to day when the weather will cool and its leaves will fall, leaving it completely bare. Nor does it know from day to day when the weather will warm and its blossoms will begin to adorn those long arms again. A tree changes with the seasons automatically and without contemplation.

We are certainly not trees, and often we know the seasons in our lives are beginning to change well in advance of them actually doing so, although there are times that they change unexpectedly. However, if we have placed our trust in the Lord, if we have surrendered our will to Him, and when we put aside our own plans to put His will above our own, then we have no need to fear in any of the seasons of our life. There will be the wonderful seasons when everything seems to be perfect and wonderful, and at these times we need to soak up all we can of the Lord and His presence and His word and His wisdom. Because the fact is, seasons change. There will be seasons of winter, seasons that feel like utter desolation and, at times, like bitter cold in our heart, and at those times we must lean on the strength that only God can give, and run to the arms of the only One who can walk us through - our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Seasons change, but when we put our trust in God, we have peace that He is going to bring us through all of the hardest seasons of our lives into the glorious peace of the very best seasons in Him.

Is What You Want What God Wants for You?

"Give in to the craving..." was the logo I saw on a sign today as I drove past a fast food restaurant. I immediately began to think about how these words seem to define the time we live in. There is so much focus on self-indulgence...on getting what WE want in order to be happy. The question is this; is what we WANT actually what we NEED? And furthermore, is what we want what God wants us to have?

We live in a culture of "Give me what I want, and I should have had it five minutes ago..." What we want is not always bad, but we have to evaluate our wants and desires to see if they are good for us and are things that will please God. This is a bit of a simple example, but we'll just start here: The sign I saw today was for some type of new food on the menu at this restaurant. Would it have been delicious? Probably. Would it have been satisfying? Most likely. So what would be the harm in it? I had not eaten anything all day so I did need food. But, this is where evaluation comes in. First of all, could I wait to eat until I went home? Yes. Secondly, was this in my budget? No. Thirdly, was I willing to sacrifice most of my weight watchers points for the day on this item? No. In the case of something like this, the decision is easily made using common sense and conventional wisdom.

But what about when it's not an item on a menu? What if it's something much less trivial than a fast food order? I won't give examples here because there are just too many, but we all have different desires, and you can fill in the blank with your own. In all cases of what we want, we must evaluate the cost, the end result, and sometimes the consequence. But most importantly, we must seek the Lord and hear His voice and His heart on every decision in our lives.

I've heard for most of my life to "Listen to your heart..." in order to find the answers. Well, here is the cold, hard truth - the heart can be deceived. Our heart is the seat of our emotions, and basing our decisions on "listening to the heart" can lead us down very wrong paths and cause us to make extremely wrong decisions. Our feelings can be very wrong at times, and it's imperative that we make sure that what we feel and what we think are lining up with the Word of God and with HIS heart. Feelings are often based on circumstance, and God can quickly change the circumstances we find ourselves in. You may have wanted something for years, and feel entitled to it, feel that you deserve it, feel that you can't live without it; but what will be the end result of getting that desire fulfilled? Will it bring peace and contentment, or will it just make you want more?

Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." The key phrase here is "Delight yourself in the Lord..." If we are truly delighting ourselves in Him we will find that our desires become very different. The focus shifts from "What do I need?" to "What can I do for others in need?" and "What do I want?" to "What do You want for me, Lord?" and from "This is something I deserve!" to "What can I do to serve?"

We will find the most happiness, contentment, peace and fulfillment when we are chasing after the heart of God, when our desires line up with His desires for us, and when pleasing Him becomes more important than pleasing ourselves.

Where is the "Undo" Button on this Thing?!

Last week my son wanted me to play some games with him. We played Uno, checkers, something akin to Jenga, and chess. Now my son likes to play chess on the computer because before you make any move you can have the computer show you every possible move you can make, and it will not allow you to make a move that will put your king in danger by accident. Also, as if this is not help enough, there is an "Undo" button that you can use any time you don't like the direction the game is heading. Perhaps in moving your bishop to take the opposing rook, you don't notice the danger posed by the opposing queen who swiftly snatches up the offending bishop; no problem, just click "Undo". You could also call this one the "Easy" button.

While Jordan thoroughly enjoys playing this way on the computer, he was not prepared for what a game with a person would entail. Now, I am by NO means an expert chess player. While I do enjoy it, I am someone who is ready to move on to something new, not spend half of my afternoon plotting strategy that will ultimately not gain me anything of worth, besides bragging rights... So, we sat down and began to play, and he was really into it at first. But then, he made an unwise move and lost his queen. Immediately, he snatches up his queen and starts yelling "Undo! Undo!!!" After about two minutes of explaining to him that I am not a computer and this is what it's like to play against people, he gives up - not just on the fight to regain his queen, but he is now frustrated and just wants the whole game overwith.

As I sat there and thought about it, I realized that this is how we often feel in life. We mess up, we open our big mouth, we don't say what we should have, we don't do what we should have, we forget something important, we fall, we sin; and suddenly our mind is crying "UNDO!" However, in life, as in the chess game, there is no undo button. When we make a wrong move there is no going back. We can cry, we can grit our teeth, we can bang our fists, but we can't undo what has been done.

And yet, hope is NOT lost. It's not over!

Life moves forward at a frighteningly quick pace. And that, my friends, is the point... it moves FORWARD. We so often make the wrong moves on the board, and often lose important players (people or things) that meant so much to us; and no matter how much we might wish for it, we can't get them back. But we don't give up! We keep moving forward. We set our feet firmly on the ground, we look to the Lord for guidance in our next moves, and we don't look back. Paul said in Phillipians 3:13, "But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." We don't actually forget what is behind - we don't actually wipe our memory clean - but we change our focus to what is before us. Our memories, good and bad, serve to aid us in our daily walk. They help us to remember what is important, while not making the same mistakes over and over.

There is no "Undo" button in life. But there is wisdom to make the right decisions and move on.

True Transformers

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

When I was a child "Transformers" were a really big deal, and as with all things they have now come full circle to become an even bigger deal. My son now likes them more than I did as a child (I was quite the tomboy!)...yes, I had a transformer when I was a little girl! But what exactly is the allure of Transformers? You have a vehicle/machine of some sort that has the ability to transform into something incredible - a giant fighting robot that can talk and shoot lasers; a transformation that is possible because the machine is full of LIFE.

Have you ever seen a "transformer"? Not a living robot, but a person who has been transformed by God, completely changed by the Way, the Truth, and the LIFE. If you have, it's not something you have to wonder about or question, it's unmistakable. And it is beautiful.

Sometimes you can know someone for long enough that you basically know what to expect from them. You see how they act, hear how they speak, and in some cases you know for the most part how they feel or what motivates them. And then, you don't see them for a while, or maybe you only get the chance to talk to them every once in a while, but suddenly out of the blue there they are...and you see the change. You will not forget it when you see it; to see how incredibly God has worked in the life of another sort of brands itself on your heart. To see a person transformed from who they used to be into someone full of the power of God, full of His glory, full of faith in Him, and walking upright in His power and might is such an edifying experience.

We are all a work in progress, being transformed daily into the image of God...IF we allow Him to change us. There have been many times that I have regretted things I have said and done or beaten myself up over mistakes in my past, but the truth is that everything in my life up until this point has helped shape me into the person I am now. All of the best things in my life, the best things I have done, the things that were not a step above mediocrity, the failures in my life, and the very worst of me - all fit together to make up who I am.

I am a transformer, constantly being changed into who God has made me to be...through my relationship with Him, through my experiences in life, through lessons learned (most often the hard way). I hope that when people see me they see a life transformed, a woman chasing after God with ALL that I am, and a heart that will never be satisfied with anything less than all that He has for me. I hope that when people see me, they see a transformer.

2 Corinthians 3:18 "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

The Road Before Me...

The other day I was out running errands which required me to drive in a really pretty area on a beautiful day with lots of time to...think. As I passed such gorgeous scenery and my mind began to wander, I found myself driving through a dense fog of memories. You may ask why I was driving through a "fog" of memories instead of dancing lightly on moss colored paths of rose strewn memories, and I will tell you.

When you are driving down the road where there is thick fog, it decreases your visibility. You are unable to see in front of you or around you effectively. You have to go slowly and your way is darker because of the visual obstruction caused by the fog. Well, memories can be like fog. Memories can be good or bad, but they are just that...memories. They are not forward motion, but a glance behind. And when our memories consume us, rather than being able to move forward, we find our path obstructed.

What the Lord showed me as I drove home that day was how our lives are very like our car driving down the road. He showed me how He has us on a particular path, going to specific destinations in life, and it is our choice whether we will stay on the path appointed for us and do all that He has called us to do, or whether we will choose our own way and allow distractions to pull our attention down the wrong road.

I saw lots of interesting looking paths off to the side of the road: country trails, side roads, beautiful fields...but none of these places were going to get me to my destination. And if I went the wrong way, I would simply have to backtrack and take longer getting where I was going because I got off the right road. It's so very important that we hold God's hand tightly and walk with Him, beside Him, allowing Him to lead us in the right direction. Our ways are not His ways, so trusting the direction we think we should go without first waiting to see if He is leading us there will sometimes set us back a long way or land us in an entirely wrong place.

One thing that God showed me so clearly was how important it is to look ahead. The dense fog of memories were behind me, and I could look in the rear view mirror to see where I had been, but He showed me that if we continue to look in the rear view mirror at what is behind, then we are no longer able to see what is ahead. If our focus is not set on the road before us, then we will not be able to go very far on it. Staring in the rear view mirror while trying to drive forward will almost certainly lead to a wreck. We have a choice to make...to hang onto the past and remain caught up in the "woulda's, coulda's, and shoulda's," or in the has been's and all of the good old days, or bad old days in some cases; OR we can set our eyes on the road before us, listen for the voice of the the Sovereign Lord who only wants the very best for us (Jeremiah 29:11), and follow HIS path into our future. The best is yet to come. Believe it, and let go of what is gone.

Finding Refuge

I love how God speaks to us in so many different ways. One tool that He has spoken to me much through is "The Hiding Place," the story of Corrie Ten Boom. She and her family hid and saved hundreds of Jews during the holocaust, and were punished severely when they were caught. I have been listening to a dramatization of the story on audio, and have found such wonderful wisdom to apply to my own life today.

One thing that has really stood out to me is the forgiveness displayed by Corrie's sister, Betsy, and how this affected Corrie...leading her to be able to forgive those who had done such great harm to her and her family. Betsy compared all situations to things that Jesus had gone through, and opened Corrie's eyes up to what true forgiveness and the undeserved grace and love of a holy God really meant for all people, not just for those deemed worthy to receive it. None of us are worthy in ourselves.

Another thing that I really grabbed onto in the story was a statement Corrie Ten Boom had made in regards to her sister's death. She said that "God was good...even when Betsy died." She knew that no matter what our circumstance, no matter what we face, no matter what we lose...God IS ALWAYS good. We don't always understand the reason why things happen as they do, and we don't always have the answers, but one thing never changes...God IS good.

The Ten Boom family offered a safe place for those who feared for their lives, those who had no hope, and seemingly no chance. God used them, as well as others, to make a difference when it seemed all was at an end.

And now, for all of us, no matter who we are or where we're from, God IS our safe place...He is our refuge in time of trouble. He gives us light and leads us when we can't see the path before us. He gives wisdom and peace. There have been many times that I have felt I had nowhere to turn or no one to talk to, no one who could help or understand. But my Lord and Savior is my hiding place, my refuge, my fortress. The enemy can stomp and storm, but my God loves me and holds me tightly in His hands. I have found the best refuge, a place where I am never alone, and it is in His arms.

It's Been a While...

Wow, this is my first post in such a long time! I have truly missed being able to blog, but am so very thankful for the many other things that God has done in my life in the time I have been off. Some people may think that blogging, or writing in general, is a waste of time and they don't have time for it, but even this morning I have visited three of my favorite blogs and God has spoken to me through every one of them! We are so often tools in the lives of others when we allow God to weild us in His hands. We are His mouth speaking truth to the right person at the right time. Always remember that what you have to say is so very important, even if you feel that it is incredibly insignificant! God knows what He is doing and He knows exactly when to work, and who He wants to work through.

I will post again later, but just wanted to encourage you to be a vessel that God can pour His love and light through.

Be blessed today and follow the Lord with everything you have and everything you are.

The Truth Will Set You Free...

This is a very personal post (and a long one!) about something that is close to my heart, and I realize that by putting it out here in the blogosphere it will now be the equivalent of my wounds laid open for all to see. But, we all know that the truth will set you free..........and I refuse to wear these shackles a minute longer.

Some of you have been following my blog ever since it started, back when it used to be called Aprille's Weight Loss Journal. It was a daily diary of my food intake, exercise regimen, and weight loss. I also posted about things going on in my life, pictures of my family and stories about them, what God was doing in my life, etc. However, I began to feel that since I was blogging under the guise of being a "weight loss journal", that probably I should just be talking about my weight loss journey. So, when I had not lost any more weight or when maybe I had gained a pound or two - whatever the case may have been - if there was no progress, then I felt like a failure and that what I had to say was not worth reading. I began posting less and less, and Michelle began hijacking my blog more and more trying to get me to post, etc.

Finally, I decided to change my focus. I didn't want my blog to be all about my weight because it was not doing my self-esteem any good. Also, I felt like my weight should be a very small part of who I am, not the main part of who I am. So I changed the name after much consideration to "Clay in the Hands of the Potter", to remind myself and everyone else that I am being molded and shaped daily - that we are all being molded and shaped daily - into what God wants us to be (if we let Him, that is).

Feeling better about this, I got back to posting regularly, and in the meantime, my weight has been creeping back up - I now have gained back half of what I had lost originally. Depression began to creep back in as events have unfolded in my life. I can honestly say that "Life happened" in 2008 - maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but it just seems like my life in so many aspects was turned upside down, inside out, and to me in so many ways it just seemed unrecognizable. I began to turn to food instead of God, and I have had some really low points...........of course if you're judging by Weight Watchers - I guess that would be "high" points! LOL!

Using food as a crutch was a new thing for me. I have had an eating disorder for many years, but the disorder apparently switched from one end of the spectrum to the other. My usual mode of thinking would be to do without food, so leaning on food is really a big change. I was diagnosed with anorexia in college, and rather than actually talking to me about it or at least tell me what his concerns were, the doctor sent a letter to my parents. I had no idea of the diagnosis until my parents informed me. My parents didn't mention it to me at first, but they were asking me about my eating all the time while I was 7 hours away, "are you eating good?", etc., etc., all the while I didn't really even realize that I had a problem. Then, one day I made the mistake of asking a friend if they thought I needed to lose weight, and they said that it wouldn't hurt. That was all the excuse I needed - I immediately fell into full-blown anorexia. When I came home finally for spring break, my parents thought I looked like I was on drugs. Pretty, huh? Anyway, I have battled this mindset for years, although never actually falling back into it completely. I'll lose a little weight, put it back on and then some, and cycle around again. Always though, keeping myself from actually going back down that dark road (well, most of the time anyway).

Lately though, as I felt things unraveling all around me, and I began to shovel food into me as if my stomach was a bottomless pit, I started turning back to my old friend, Ana. I would plan and plot ways to do it without my family noticing. Yes, I was actually planning it out, ways and means to an end...to the end.

Thankfully, God reeled me back into reality. And the reality is that I cannot go back to that lifestyle, any more than an addict can in good conscience go back to her drug. There is nothing about that thought process or lifestyle that leads to any good at all. You end up pushing away the people that love you because you become so obsessed with the control you feel you have, but that you really don't have at all.

Well, some of you are losing weight in healthy ways (Michelle, Terri, Dianne, Tina), doing healthy things, things that make you feel better, not just look better. So, I have decided to stop this cycle now, and begin fresh tomorrow morning. I will be a good steward of this body I have been given so that I can be the best wife I can be, so that I can be the best mom that I can be, so that I can minister effectively, and be the kind of Christian that people want to be around - not someone that they dread to see coming because of the chasm of dark misery that seems to follow behind.

And so, in wrapping things up, I just want to share a few truths with you...

The truth is that I am overweight.
But also, the truth is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
The truth is that I feel bad about myself.
But also, the truth is that I am a princess, a child of the King of Kings.
The truth is I have a real lack of self control.
But last and best of all, the truth is that HE IS....

HE IS my strength to turn away from the refrigerator and to my knees in prayer.
HE IS my resolve to not fall back into old, bad habits.
HE IS my confidence that I am more than the mirror tells me.
HE IS THE WORD that speaks life over me and hope, not eating disorders and death.
HE IS my victory, and through Him, I am an overcomer.

For some of you, this may be more information than you wanted to know, and if so I apologize. But I hope that this will speak to someone who maybe is fighting this same war within themselves. Don't give up, don't give in, and don't give the enemy another inch because we are overcomers by the blood of the Lamb.

Special thanks to Michelle, who has stood with me through all of these years of ups and downs. Thank you for being my forever friend, my sister in Christ, for being real with me, for loving me even though you know all about me, for helping me to stay level when you know the directions my thoughts sometimes lead me, for threatening bodily harm to me if you even see the slightest inkling of old habits slipping back in (LOL!), and for always telling me the truth, even when I don't want to hear it (but need to). I was truly blessed when I met you, and had no idea what an impact you would have on my life, and that all of these years later it would seem like we're family.

To Misty, who has been in my life for the past three years, and what a blessing you have been. Thank you for becoming a mentor to me, for guiding me and teaching me in ministry, and pushing me to become all that God would have me to be, to be the warrior that He has called me to be for Him. Thank you for seeing the potential in me that God has placed there, even when I have continued to doubt. Thanks to you and to David for allowing me to minister in your church, and for always believing in me. Thank you for your encouragement, for your wisdom, and also for telling it like it is - but always with kindness and a gentle spirit. You are a woman to look up to and I have been so blessed that God brought you into my life.

To Marla, You have been in my life for most of it, even though we didn't get to be good friends until the last few years. Thank you for your prayers that have meant so much. Thank you for always reaching in to my deepest reserves to try to pull out my fullest potential. You have so much to offer, and God is using you mightily to help stay-at-home moms get to stay at home! Thank you for always building me up, and for not allowing me to accept the lies that the enemy would try and spoon feed me about myself. Thank you for allowing God to use you without worrying about what anybody will say or think, but just walking in obedience.

Lastly, to all of you, my bloggy friends - thank you for all of your kind comments. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for your prayers.

Love,
Aprille :0)

"It's a Slow Fade..."

I just wanted to share this very powerful song with all of you. Many of you may have heard it already, but for those of you who have not, please see/listen to the video on YouTube. It is called "Slow Fade" by Casting Crowns. Even if you have heard the song, just take a minute if you can to read over the lyrics - very powerful! I have also added it to my playlist so you can hear it while you read! :0)

Here are the lyrics:

Slow Fade
By Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

Chorus
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

Bridge
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Our choices truly affect other people, whether we realize it or not. Secret sins don't stay that way. We have to live a life of no compromise every day, knowing that our children are watching and following our every step.

My Second Project...

Here it is...

This is my second purse (if you missed the first one, please see my last craft post). I started it on Wednesday night, and got through with the purse and liner (used the Winnie the Pooh fabric again) by Thursday night. However, it has taken me the better part of the past three days to complete the rest - the two handles, fastener, button, and the two flowers on the bottom left-hand corner. This purse is just a little over twice the size of the last purse I did, and my mom has taught me some new stitches since I made the first one. My last purse was all done in single crochet, while this one was done with single and double crochet. I might be able to go faster with a pattern, but I'm just not quite ready for that yet! My mom sat down and showed me how to do the flowers, and I have made three so far - I really like them! This is a close-up of a the flowers and button (below).

Thank you, ladies, for your encouraging words about my last purse. Your craftiness has been a big factor in my yearning to learn to crochet. You are all inspiration to me and precious to my heart. And this does not just go for those of you who crochet or knit or sew, but to all of you who take care of your families with such zeal and love, and share bits of your wisdom online for the benefit of all. I love you all. Great BIG ((HUGS)) to all of you! You have blessed and enriched my life through your friendship across the miles.

Thank you, mom, for showing me through my whole life how to be a christian, a wife, a mom, and for setting an example of producing things like this with your own hands. You have helped to shape my personality and every aspect of my life. You are amazing, you are a rock - just a mountain of strength. I love you!

How Many Times Have We Circled This Mountain?

Do any of you struggle? Do you struggle with temptation? Do you struggle with old, bad habits? Do you struggle with negative thinking? Do you struggle against yourself constantly?

Well, I ought to have some pretty built up muscles, because it seems as if I struggle against myself quite a lot.

I was just sitting there today thinking about the fact that once we have victory over something, once we have resisted temptation, once we have broken an old habit, once we have kicked out all of that old negativity...why do we allow it to slip back in? Why do we have our old sinful nature, our bad attitude, our untamed tongues, pinned down in a tight hold - defeated, only to allow them to creep back up and get us in a choke-hold again?

Are we gluttons for punishment? Do we enjoy the constant struggle?

I don't. I really don't, and yet, as I said before - I continue to struggle.

Well, once again, I picked up my handy Joyce Meyer devotional calendar, where God had a word just for me today, and I hope that it will speak to your hearts too...

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"Tuesday, August 5...

The people of the nation of Israel wandered around in the wilderness for forty years, a journey that should only have taken eleven days. Why? We really shouldn't look at the Israelites with such astonishment, because most of us do the same thing as they did. We keep going around and around the same mountains instead of making progress. The result is, it takes us years to experience victory over something that could have and should have been dealt with quickly.

Deuteronomy 1:2 It is [only] eleven days' journey from Horeb by the way of Mount Seir to Kadesh-barnea [on Canaan's border; yet Israel took forty years to get beyond it]."

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There have been so many times that I have looked at the story of the Israelites and wondered "How, after all of the amazing miracles that they had seen, could they ever doubt that God would deliver on his promises?"

And yet, today, I find myself again in the position of one of the Israelites. I find myself once again circling the same mountain one more time.

God has made us overcomers. He has given us victory over every single weapon Satan would use against us, and He has given us victory over our old sinful nature. We are a new creation and old things are passed away, so let's stop looking up at the mountain and walking in circles, and focus our eyes on what is ahead, moving forward through His strength, into His promised land.

I'm tired of circling the mountain - I'm moving on...
Thank you, Jesus.

Where's My Soap Box?...

I'm about to delve into more medical reports, but wanted to take a moment to post something that I feel is very important...

...give me just a second, I have to pull my soap box out to stand on...

James 3:2 "We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check." NIV

I am not going to tell you where I was, or when I heard this, or who even said it. I am just going to give you the circumstance of what was said, and how it made me feel.

I was sitting down, and two people were behind me talking... The first person said "oh, there goes so-and-so"...The second person said "my, he/she has really put on weight, he/she used to be so slim"...

OUCH!

No, they weren't talking about me, but it hit me just as hard. Since I got married I have gained quite a bit of weight. So, when I go somewhere, especially a place where people have known me for years or even for most of my life, I'm a bit self-conscious. I'll admit it. I am concerned that they think "boy, has she put on the weight".

Am I alone? Do we all have these insecurities?

I dare say we do.

Then why, why, WHY???, do we say things that point out others' insecurities, others' weaknesses? Why?

What if this conversation took place in church? What if these two people were talking about someone that was my relative, and I overhead them? What if I came into church feeling a bit insecure, visiting for the first time, and I heard this conversation taking place behind me? How would I feel? Is that a church I would want to continue to attend?

People hear us that we don't always realize are listening. These two people obviously did not think they were talking loud enough for others to hear, but they were.

This really applies to every place we frequent, even in our homes - because our children are picking up on everything we say and do. If I talk about somebody, they hear it, they learn it, they MAY even repeat it... I saw a good sign outside a church this week that said (this is as close as I remember it), "if you only say nice things about people, you never need whisper."

The book of James has so much great teaching on taming the tongue, and I need to learn it as much as anybody. What happened in this story I told above really was an eye-opener for me, and I hope that I will learn not to make this same mistake...

Even the Little Things...

You know God really cares about the little things. He cares about every aspect of our life, no matter how big or how small it may seem. Our needs matter to Him and our desires matter too.


Two weeks ago I was very concerned about how I was going to be able to get our homeschool curriculum in time for school to start. It just didn't seem doable. This was a "big" matter to us - school is really important, obviously. But, as usual, God was working things that I couldn't see yet, and He already had a blessing on the way. Thankfully, we will be able to get the curriculum on time, and will be able to get started when we need to! That is a big PRAISE THE LORD as far as I'm concerned! God is so AWESOME!

So the school stuff was a need that I was concerned about, and God took care of it!

For the past two or three years the kids have used the same pool at our house, and they have a blast in it. It's just a small pool with collapsible sides - but still great for their age. They love it. At the end of last season, when we took it down the last time, my husband noticed it had a hole in it. So, that was the end of that. We do have another pool that is BIG and inflatable, but we need a pump in order to inflate it, which we will have to purchase when the time comes. It is a great pool with two slides, way fun - but definitely need a pump! So, the bottom line is that we had not been able to replace the pool that tore up last summer, and also had not been able to get a pump for the new pool. My kids had gone to my parents' house to spend some of their summer vacation there, and their cousin lives next door. He is the same age as my son and they have a pool, so after they came home all I heard about was "when are we gonna get a new pool???" I honestly didn't know when it was gonna happen for them, and there was no way that it could be at the top of my priority list...Pay electric bill...buy swimming pool...hopefully toilet tissue... HA! No way. The pool was way further down the list.


Okay, so long story short...the day after I got the answer about the curriculum I got a call from a local business. The last time I had gone in I had registered for a giveaway they had going. I had registered before for a grill/charcoal/etc., and didn't win. But that day I was on my way out the door and happened to see in the window a swimming pool just like the one we had (the one with the hole in it), a cooler, and some beach towels. I ran back in and registered, and low and behold WE WON IT! The kids were so excited - you just can't even believe it.



So the pool was a want, a desire of my heart for my kids, and of course their desire probably even more so!


No, we don't have to have that little pool. Yes, we can get by without it! But my Daddy in heaven cares about every aspect of my life, the big and the small. A blessing is a blessing, and I felt such a boost in my faith from that. It just reminds me that my God loves me and my family and this whole world SO much. He cares enough about us that He will meet our every need if we just trust Him. He offered up His own Son to meet my ultimate need, the need for salvation.


I don't believe that we get everything that we want, especially when our wants are sometimes selfish. Phillipians 4:19 says that "my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."(NIV) So we know from that verse that our needs will be met. But as far as wants, James 4:2 says "...You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."(NIV) So, I believe that we get some of our wants, but it definitely depends on our motives.


The kids having a pool was honestly not something I remember praying for. It was something that I really wanted them to have though because it is really, really hot where we live! Now, if I pray for a brand new car that might be a bit more selfish for me! Not because it is wrong to pray for a new car, but because I have a car that is in working order, it runs good, it gets fantastic mileage; if I asked for more it would be a selfish request at this point because my need is met. Not to mention it would tack on a bill that we could not pay!


I say all of this because I'm feeling so blessed right now, but I have been struggling in the faith area for a little while now because I just couldn't see how certain things were going to fall in place, how certain needs were going to be met, etc. But I have to say that every time I look at that little pool in the backyard I remember that God cares about everything that I'm going through, everything that I'm facing, every answer I'm searching for, every need, every want, and even the little things.

Taking Time for You...

It has been a busy weekend here and I feel like I'm heading into Monday just a wee bit behind. Not good, right? Well, in honor of feeling behind I have decided to take a little while to relax. I am having a cup of hot chamomille tea as I work on chapter three of my book. That is so relaxing to me! It really does so much good to take a little time for yourself to relax. Yes, it is late, it's 10:25 p.m., and I really should be in bed, but this is time I need to take for myself. Once I get on a roll writing it is hard for me to stop until I am completely done with the chapter, so I will probably be up for a while yet. But, this is excellent quality time for me.

Below is a picture of my favorite tea cup. My mom has a really fantastic collection of tea cups, including antique ones and lots of really pretty decorate china cups. I am not a collector of tea cups, just someone who enjoys tea. This particular cup was given to me as a gift. It's glass, not china, but because it was a gift drinking out of it makes it that much more enjoyable.




I took the time to stop and post about this because I think it is important for all of us to take some time for ourselves. We want to be at our best at all times, and we are more likely to be that if we are taking the time with the Lord that we should be taking, and also taking some time to take care of ourselves. I'm not just talking about taking care of ourselves as in putting make-up on or exercising or dressing up...no, I'm talking about taking care of ourselves mentally - getting the rest we need and time to unwind, a little time alone.

For me I like to drink hot tea and write, especially while listening to a bit of classical music. But for you, maybe it's a rich cup of coffee, or maybe curling up with a good book, possibly even a decadent chocolate chip cookie that is still a bit warm and gooey. For each of us our needs are different. So go, soak in a hot bubble bath, drink a cup of hot tea from your best china cup, or take five minutes just to go stand outside and watch nature, even go so far as to take a nap.

We should always remember that taking care of the people we love means also taking care of ourselves.